


I Miss My Wings

by rhetta



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Gabriel in a nurse outfit, Halloween, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:03:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2520029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhetta/pseuds/rhetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean chose a newly-human Cas' Halloween costume poorly. Enter Castiel, adorned with fake wings, a halo, and a white robe.</p><p>Sometimes Dean is clever. This is not one of those times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss My Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, my first Halloween fic! Don't forget to kudos if you like it and drop some feedback on your way out c:
> 
> (NOTE: This fic has been revamped! I did a bit of editing for quality and fixed the ending up a bit.)

Bother me on [Tumblr!](http://hip-critic.tumblr.com/)

 

 

For what could easily have been the thousandth time, Castiel fidgeted with the tip of one large black wing that hung loosely over his shoulder.

Had the large objects been his own wings, the former angel would have been comfortable. He would be standing up tall, proudly showing off his most beautiful features.

But these things that hung limply from his shoulders and reeked of plastic, these... _abominations_ were no more his than the glittery halo attached to his head or the itchy white robes or ill-fitting sandals he wore.

Just as Castiel reached again to fondle the tip of that _not wing_ , Dean came bustling in. He had, evidently, poured himself into a skin-tight suit of gray, black, and yellow. His face was covered by an oddly shaped mask, but there was no mistaking this man for someone else.

"Hey Cas," said Dean in an unnaturally low and gravelly voice that sent a shiver down Castiel's spine. "Check it out. I'm Batman."

"Ah, okay." Cas said, clenching his fist to stop himself from reaching out to the fake appendage. He would not, _could_ not let Dean see how weak he truly was.

Dean, ever the observant hunter, saw the nervous twitch of muscle anyway.

"Cas, what's...?" His eyes trailed upwards until he caught sight of his friend's mangled wing tip.

"Dammit, Cas, those are brand new!" Dean shuffled up to Cas' left side and reached up to gingerly brush at the fake feathers of his wing. Castiel looked away and tried not to shake as he felt the gentle tugging which, he assumed, meant that Dean was fixing his costume.

"There." Dean said, apparently satisfied. He reached up to straighten out his halo before turning away and heading out the bedroom door.

"C'mon, Cas," he called over his shoulder. "We'd better get in there before Gabe scarfs down everything containing sugar."

Castiel followed Dean silently through the bunker. It took about forty-five uncomfortably quiet (save for Dean's muttering about "every day of my life is Halloween") seconds before they reached the lounge/kitchen area.

Familiar faces abounded, from Sam to Charlie and Dorothy (who had _somehow_ come back from Oz for a visit) to Kevin and Linda Tran, to Bobby and Crowley. Even Gabriel had joined in on the festivities, claiming some nonsense about not wanting to miss an opportunity for so much candy.

The former angel felt a nudge on his shoulder. "We're a weird fuckin' family, eh?" And with that, Dean was off to mingle with his friends.

Cas found that his attempt to hide in a corner unnoticed had failed when his brother strolled up to his hiding spot with a lazy grin on his face and a sucker in his mouth.

"Enjoying the party, little bro? Nice costume, by the way." The trickster himself was sporting a "sexy nurse" costume that no doubt had turned some heads, though whether or not it was in a good way was still up for debate.

The smaller angel's smile disappeared when Castiel looked up at him with strained, nervous eyes. Cas wrapped his arms loosely around his own body and pointedly did  _not_ look at his brother, which, of course, only served to provoke him further.

"What's got you down, baby bro? Who am I going to have to smite?" Gabriel schooled his expression into one of brotherly concern and pulled the candy out of his mouth with a _pop_.

"No smiting will be necessary, Gabriel. I am fine." Cas looked up at his brother and plastered on his best facsimile of a smile.

"Smells like a steaming pile of bullshit to me, Cas. But I can see you're determined to sit here and pout."

Gabriel stood up and looked back at Castiel one more time.

"Y'know you can come talk to me if you...you know...need to talk to me." And with that, the trickster/angel/nurse was off.

Castiel breathed in a sigh of relief. He knew, logically, that his brother wouldn't let the issue rest, but he was safe for now. Instead of lingering on those fears, he instead elected to watch the party.

The occasion was far less awkward than it had the potential to be. Charlie, Dorothy, and Kevin had forged fast friendships (over Star Trek, of all things), and Crowley was being a mostly tolerable amount of annoying. Bobby and Linda were, presumably, sassing each other, and Gabriel was batting his eyelashes at a very disgruntled Sam. Dean was drifting around, refilling plates of treats and occasionally letting loose an impression of his "Batman" character.

In his observation of the party, Castiel had failed to notice the sideways glances he was receiving from each of the guests. He was oblivious, in fact, until a familiar British accent found itself within Cas' hearing range.

"The halo suits you." the gruff voice said. Cas jumped nearly a foot in the air and whirled around to find a smirking Crowley, who inevitably had come wearing fake devil's horns and carrying a pitchfork.

Cas immediately donned a grim scowl, but the demon was having none of it.

"Uncomfortable, hm, Castiel?" Crowley glanced up at his once-again mangled wing's edge. "You should really try to kick that nervous habit of yours before your boyfriend sees."

"H-he is not my 'boyfriend,' Crowley!" Castiel sputtered.

"Sure he isn't."

The demon sauntered off, and Cas barely had enough time to fall back into a sense of security before another face appeared before him.

This time, it was none other than Charlie Bradbury. Her red locks had been pulled into buns on either side of her head, and she had donned a white dress, but she still wore her signature good-natured smile.

"I heard you got de-winged," she said. "That must suck."

Castiel flinched. While she was part of the family, Charlie most certainly did _not_ have the emotional censorship of a Winchester. Inexplicably, Castiel found himself oddly inclined to share his feelings with the young woman.

"It has been...difficult." He murmured.

Charlie gazed at Cas' fingers, which he had apparently moved back to the costume wings.

"I can see that...Why are you wearing _that_ of all costumes, then?"

Cas swallowed hard. "It was Dean's idea."

Charlie's sad smile made an appearance. "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Immediately, Cas' hands were up in a defensive position. "Nonono, Charlie. No thank you. I can handle one night of this."

Charlie patted his shoulder softly and rejoined Dorothy and Kevin.

The rest of the night went similarly, with Bobby, Kevin, Linda, and even Dorothy coming up to Cas and offering to talk. Each time, Cas would assure them that he was just fine, but with each conversation he grew more anxious and uncomfortable, and with each time the feathers of his wing frayed more and more.

Eventually, each member of the party (except for Dean, of course) had been filled in on Cas' condition and were quietly voicing their concerns to one another while stealing glances at him.

It wasn't too long before Dean caught wind of the situation. All it took was Bobby's failing hearing and a slightly-too-loud comment to tip him off.

"What do you mean, Cas should 'talk to Dean about it?' Talk to me about _what?"_

The elder Winchester had not been discreet.

Now, nine pairs of eyes were staring at the dark corner in which Castiel found himself. He refused to meet anyone's gaze, instead moving his eyes about the room at random intervals. It didn't matter where he was looking, though, because his vision was too blurry for him to actually see.

Castiel knew there were voices and that they were likely directed at him, but he could no longer figure out what the words being spoken were or by whom they were spoken.

Cas curled further into himself and shut his eyes. He found himself grasping desperately at his false wing, which he had probably broken beyond repair. His hands and fingers shook with a greater force than he had thought possible.

Castiel finally reestablished contact with reality when rough hands on his shoulders shook him firmly.

"Cas!"

No trace of Dean's Batman impression was in his voice this time.

As Castiel looked around, he saw the concerned faces of his friends and family staring back at him. Though he knew they all cared, anxiety still clutched at his chest, and he made a rash decision.

In almost an instant, Castiel had stood up from his chair and bolted to his room, his flimsy costume wings flapping weakly behind him.

The nine who were left had gone silent. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, they all turned to face Dean, who wore an expression of intense confusion.

The first to speak was Gabriel.

"You fucked up my brother, man. You'd better make it right."

The angel disappeared.

Charlie and Dorothy, the Trans, and Bobby all filed out with very few words exchanged.

Crowley, demon bastard that he was, pranced right up to Dean and was met with a look of disdain.

"Oh, don't give me that look. I just wanted to give you some advice."

The king of Hell rolled his eyes in response to Dean's own reaction.

"I'm just saying that I know what it's like to be human...ish. To 'have my wings clipped,' one might say."

Dean's eyes went wide.

_Fuck._

As if on cue, Sam (who had yet to remove his moose antlers) reentered the room with a master key, which he tossed to Dean. He caught his brother's eyes and said "be careful" before ushering Crowley back to his little room in the bowels of the bunker.

Without waiting for Sam to return, Dean bolted to the room Castiel had claimed not three weeks before. When he reached the door, Dean knocked with a clenched fist.

"Cas?"

Dean pressed an ear gingerly against the door and subsequently gaped at the door in shock.

Castiel, angel of Thursday, the man who raised him from perdition, the man who fought demons and angels and fate itself, was crying.

Dean had never heard his angel cry.

Finding that this was a good enough reason not to need Cas' permission, Dean jammed the master key into the lock, turned, and pushed his way in.

There, on the floor, surrounded by the torn remains of his "wings," halo, and robe, was Cas. He had draped a blanket around himself, and he was shaking furiously in an impossibly small ball. Every couple of moments, a sob would wrack his body. His posture was defeated, helpless.

"Cas...?" Dean began moving cautiously towards the trembling angel.

Evidently, Castiel had not heard Dean come in as, upon hearing his voice, the angel took in a wretched gasp and backed away from his friend.

"Cas, hey-"

"Dean, p-please, I-" Cas broke off into a heartbreaking sob and buried his face into his hands.

That clenched it. In seconds, Dean had closed the distance between him and his angel. The hunter put his arms around Cas and rocked him gently, quietly murmuring every variation of "You're okay, Cas." he could think of.

When the shaking and sobbing subsided, Dean reached a hand down to Cas' chin and tenderly angled his head to look Cas in the eyes.

"What's wrong, Cas?" His voice held a great weariness that Castiel, even in his emotional state, couldn't miss.

"I miss my wings." This statement came from the former angel in broken pieces punctuated with little sniffles.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in a fierce hug which was reciprocated with almost equal intensity.

"Cas..." Dean said in a whisper, barely audible to Castiel. "I am so, so sorry."

When they pulled apart, tears were streaming freely down the faces of both men. Dean stood and stretched out a hand, which Castiel accepted.

Dean pulled Castiel close to him once more, his lips just barely brushing the other's ear.

"I can't believe I was so fucking stupid, Cas, I...I'm--"

Castiel leaned further into Dean's embrace, effectively cutting off Dean's fervent apology.

"I forgive you, Dean." 

Dean closed his eyes, and Castiel felt the movement of his lips on his cheek that was unmistakably the hint of a smile. 

"Thanks, Cas."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to leave a comment or kudos if you'd like :)


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